Hi, Barbie!

Standing for the possibility that women can be whatever they want.

“I’m just so tired of watching myself and every single other woman tie herself into knots so that people will like us.” — Gloria's speech.

As soon as I saw Barbie land, I couldn’t help but imagine a world where women could be whatever they want without facing judgment or scrutiny, where their value is recognized equally, just as it is for men.

It reminded me of when I was heading to the university, and I found myself in tears, envisioning a world where women could feel genuinely comfortable and happy being true to themselves. A world where they could freely choose what to wear, where to work, and who to be with or without. During that moment, I was going through a particularly challenging period as the only woman in many of my academic and professional endeavors. Unfortunately, this situation led me to face sexism, such as unwelcome physical contact, objectification, and having my opinions and comments dismissed or undervalued.

The entire movie was very thought-provoking, as it initially portrayed the perspectives and emotions of both women and men in a world controlled by the opposite gender. Then, it brought Barbie and Ken into our present reality, where women are often overestimated compared to men. Going through this, Barbie faced the harsh reality, allowing herself to be vulnerable and express her emotions. Her tears and the existential crisis became ours. Meanwhile, Ken took advantage of the situation and imposed a patriarchal system in Barbie land. However, Barbies organized themselves over time and overcame this situation, restoring their original constitution. Throughout the journey, both genders, represented by Barbies and Kens, realized the importance of treating each other equally.

During the moment of collective organization among the Barbies, Gloria’s character delivered a vulnerable and sensitive speech that moved me to tears: “You are so beautiful, and so smart, and it kills me that you don’t think you’re good enough. Like, we have to always be extraordinary, but somehow we’re always doing it wrong.”

From my earliest days of education as a child, I constantly doubted my intelligence and abilities compared to my male peers. It took me a long time to acknowledge and embrace my leadership skills, mainly because I didn’t feel respected by women, didn’t conform to traditional gender expectations for most men, and faced societal resistance. “You have to be a boss, but you can’t be mean. You have to lead, but you can’t squash other people’s ideas.”

I have always felt that, even when occupying a leadership role within religious, academic, or voluntary organizations, I was expected to be obedient, devoting my energy to supporting men’s ideas while suppressing my own opinions and ideas. If I dared to assert myself or ask for more respect, I would often be labeled with derogatory terms such as “selfish,” “crazy,” “mean,” “peaky,” “weird,” “bossy,” and so on. Interestingly, I noticed that men expressing their opinions energetically were never subjected to such labels.

Additionally, if you dare to ask for respect, you may face being accused of causing any harassment you’ve experienced, being gaslighted and mansplained, unfairly judged, having your feelings disregarded, and even being isolated from others. “You have to answer for men’s bad behavior, which is insane, but if you point that out, you’re accused of complaining. You’re supposed to stay pretty for men, but not so pretty that you tempt them too much or that you threaten other women because you’re supposed to be a part of the sisterhood. But always stand out and always be grateful.”

Discussing gratitude and harassment, our feelings are more likely to be acknowledged if a man shows support and recognizes our pain. However, it is essential to emphasize that embracing the causes of all minorities is the most ethical approach. Women often feel a sense of gratitude and may adopt a more servile attitude towards men who offer them support.

This led me to realize the idea that we are more likely to be respected by others when we conform to the societal roles expected of us as women — being a man’s partner, daughter, cousin, mother, worker, or any other role where women are perceived as being subordinate to men, regardless of the level of power involved.

Standing up for yourself is seen as selfish, and showing vulnerability is perceived as weakness. I was called both in a harassment situation I was going through; whenever I decided to take action, I was labeled as “too much”, and when I shared my feelings about being mistreated, I was considered weak and even blamed for what happened. “You have to never get old, never be rude, never show off, never be selfish, never fall down, never fail, never show fear, never get out of line. It’s too hard! It’s too contradictory and nobody gives you a medal or says thank you! And it turns out in fact that not only are you doing everything wrong, but also everything is your fault.” It is always assumed to be our fault when we experience harassment or decide to cut off relations and take action.

I concluded that I don’t seek to be liked or loved; instead, I yearn for respect. Unfortunately, in society, when a woman desires respect, she is often labeled as the “black sheep” or considered “crazy”.

Thanks, Barbie!

Gloria’s entire speech can be seen here: <https://www.latimes.com/entertainment-arts/movies/story/2023-07-23/barbie-america-ferrera-monologue>.